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Why Most Communication Training is Absolute Rubbish (And What Actually Works)
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Here's something that'll probably annoy half the people reading this: most communication training is complete bollocks. There, I said it.
After 18 years running workshops across Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane, I've watched countless businesses throw money at communication courses that teach people to speak like corporate robots. The result? Teams that sound like they've swallowed a HR manual but still can't have a decent conversation about what's actually going wrong.
Let me tell you what really works. And what doesn't.
The Problem with Perfect Communication
Every communication guru wants you to believe there's a perfect formula. Use the right tone. Follow the seven steps. Mirror their body language. Practice active listening with your eyebrows at precisely the right angle.
Nonsense.
Real communication is messy. It's human. Sometimes you stuff up your words. Sometimes you say exactly what you mean and people still don't get it. And you know what? That's okay.
The best communicators I know aren't the polished presenters who never miss a beat. They're the ones who can laugh when they make a mistake, ask for clarification when they're confused, and - here's the controversial bit - actually disagree with people without falling apart.
What They Don't Teach You in Communication 101
Most courses focus on techniques. I'm more interested in what happens when techniques fail.
Take active listening. Everyone bangs on about it like it's the holy grail. "Repeat back what they said! Nod thoughtfully! Make eye contact!" But what happens when someone's talking absolute garbage? Are you supposed to actively listen to rubbish and reflect it back like it makes sense?
I had a manager once - lovely bloke, terrible communicator - who would "actively listen" to every complaint, suggestion, and random thought that walked through his door. He'd nod, summarise, empathise. The problem? Nothing ever got done because he was too busy being a perfect listener to actually make decisions.
The Australian Advantage (That We're Losing)
Here's something I'm genuinely worried about. We Australians used to be brilliant at straight talking. Cut the crap, say what you mean, get on with it. It was one of our competitive advantages.
But we're losing it. Corporate speak is creeping in everywhere. People "reach out" instead of calling. They "circle back" instead of getting back to you. They have "learnings" instead of learning something.
I was in a meeting last month where someone unironically said they wanted to "ideate around our communication strategy moving forward." I nearly choked on my coffee. Why not just say "let's figure out how to talk to each other better"?
The Three Things That Actually Matter
Forget the seventeen-step communication models. Here's what actually makes the difference:
1. Clarity beats cleverness every time. Stop trying to sound smart and start trying to be understood. If your grandmother couldn't follow your explanation, it's probably too complicated.
2. Context is everything. The same message delivered to different people at different times will land completely differently. A casual chat with your team on Friday afternoon hits different than a formal presentation to the board on Monday morning.
3. Follow-through matters more than perfect delivery. I'd rather work with someone who stumbles through their words but does what they say than someone who speaks beautifully but never follows up.
The Email Epidemic
Can we talk about emails for a minute? When did we decide that every single piece of communication needed to be documented in writing?
I see people sending emails to colleagues sitting three metres away. Teams having entire arguments via reply-all. Managers writing novels when a five-minute conversation would sort everything out.
Here's a radical idea: pick up the phone. Walk over to their desk. Have an actual conversation. Revolutionary, I know.
Why Conflict Isn't the Enemy
This might upset some people, but conflict isn't a communication failure - it's often a sign that communication is actually working. When people disagree openly, it means they feel safe enough to share their real thoughts.
The teams with the biggest problems aren't the ones arguing. They're the ones sitting in meetings nodding politely while thinking completely different things. That's not good communication - that's performance art.
I worked with a company in Adelaide where the leadership team prided themselves on never having arguments. "We're very collaborative," they'd say. "We always reach consensus."
Turns out they were haemorrhaging talent because nobody could speak up about obvious problems. Their idea of good communication was actually killing honest feedback.
The Meeting Madness
While we're talking about things that annoy me - meetings. When did every conversation become a meeting? And when did every meeting become a performance?
The best communication often happens in the spaces between formal meetings. In the lift. Walking to lunch. Standing around the coffee machine. That's where people actually tell you what they think.
But no, we schedule 30-minute "communication sessions" to discuss things that could be sorted in five minutes of normal conversation.
Technology: Friend or Foe?
Look, I'm not anti-technology. Slack can be brilliant for quick updates. Video calls saved us during COVID. But somewhere along the way, we forgot that technology should enhance communication, not replace it.
I see teams that are in the same office using Slack to discuss complex problems. They'll spend an hour typing messages that could be resolved in a five-minute conversation. It's madness.
And don't get me started on the people who use voice messages on Slack. Just call them!
The Power of Saying Nothing
Here's something they definitely don't teach in communication courses: sometimes the best communication is knowing when to shut up.
I once watched a brilliant CEO handle a crisis by saying remarkably little. While everyone else was scrambling to over-communicate, over-explain, and over-reassure, she gave clear, brief updates and then got on with fixing the problem.
Less talking, more doing. Novel concept.
What Good Communication Actually Looks Like
After nearly two decades in this game, I can spot good communicators from across the room. They're not the loudest or the most eloquent. They're the ones people actually listen to.
They ask good questions. They admit when they don't know something. They can disagree without being disagreeable. They follow up on their commitments.
Most importantly, they treat communication as a conversation, not a performance.
The Bottom Line
Here's my unpopular opinion: we've overcomplicated communication. We've turned it into a skill that requires training, certification, and constant improvement.
But humans have been communicating for thousands of years without PowerPoint presentations about synergy and stakeholder engagement.
Maybe, just maybe, the answer isn't more training. Maybe it's remembering that communication is about connection, not perfection.
Start there. Everything else is just noise.
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